My Covert Crimbco Buddy is AWESOME!

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quamper
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My Covert Crimbco Buddy is AWESOME!

Post by quamper » Fri Dec 17, 2010 10:05 am

These are too funny to not share I'll update if I get more... so far all have had a single cimbco mug attached

EDIT: I've been updating them below as I get them
AH, QUAMPER, I AM GLAD TO OF REACH TO YOU. I AM COLE. I LIVE IN IYALE NIGERIA. I AM VERY DANGER AND NEED YOU HELP. PLEASE CAN YOU SEND HELP? I LOVE YOU MY BROTHER. I WAIT FOR YOUR DIVINE GIFT.
QUAMMPER. IT IS GOD WILL THAT WE COME TOGETHER. I JUST TELL MY SISTER HOW I DREAM OF ADVENTURER WHO WILL SAVE US FROM GANGS WHO WANT TO HURT US.
QUAMPER! I BRING BAD NEWS. GANG TAKE MY SISTER TO FRANCE TO MAKE HER SLAVE AND THEY ONLY PAY ME MUGCAKE! I NEED YOU HELP!!!!!!
QUAMPER. WHY YOU NO SEND ME HELP? ALL MY SHIRTS ARE BROKEN AND YOU NO HELP?
OK QUAMPER. YOUR GREAT MAN. I KNOW YOU WANT TO HELP. I GIVE YOU MY ADDRES AND YOU SEND ME MEAT TO BUY NEW SISTER. YOU WILL BE HERO IN NIGERIA.
QUAMPER. THIS IS MOST IMPORTANT. I LOSE MY SHOES AND WIFE IN FIRE! WONaT YOU FIND IT IN YOUR HEART TO GIVE ME MEAT? I WILL GIVE YOU ADDRESS AND YOU WESTERN UNION MEAT. GOD BLESS.
QUAMPER. I JUST GOT BACK FROM WESTERN UNION AND THEY SAY YOU NO SEND MEAT. THEN THEY PUNCH MY BUNG AND TAKE MY BELT. WHY YOU HATE ME? YOU OWE ME MEAT AND BELT!
QAMPER! I GO TO WESTERN UNION AND THEY SAY YOU MEA T ARRIVE BUT I NO CLAIM UNLESS YOU SEND MORE. PEASE. MY WIFE YELL AT ME ABOUT HUNRGRY BABBY. HE NOT EAT FO R 3 MONTH! HOW HE WORK IF HE NO EAT?
DAMN YOU. YOU NOT SEND MEAT! I SELL MOTHER FOR MEAT TO CLAIM PACKAGE AND IT CONTAIN ASSHAT. YOU THINK FUNNY? I CALL FBI ON YOU. YOUR GOING TO JAIL. CONSTITUTION SAY YOU CHEAT ME. I CALL PRESIDENT!
QUAMPIR! THAT WAS LAST STRAW! I SELL BABY TO PAY FOR DHL RELSEASE AND BOX ^@*!AIN POTTED CACTUS. YOU GO TO JAIL NOW. YOUR BAD MAN!
QUAMPER. SEND ME 9M MEAT AND I FORGIVE YOU. YOU TAKE MY DAUGHTER AS TRUCE. SND MEAT FOR HER TRAVAL. SHE COOK YOU KNOB PASTY EVERY DAY. SHE LOOK LIKE BRITNEY SPEAR AND ENGLAND QEEN HAVE BABBY
QUAMPER. I SEND YOU WINE. YOU GET DRNK AND SEND ME MEAT? MY DUAGHER SAY SHE GO TO KINGDOM AND BE PRINCESS QUAMPER WIFE. SHE SELL LEGS TO AFFORD MAKE PRETTY FOR YOU. SEND MEAT OR ELSE GLOBAL WARM!
*10 bottles of CRIMBCO wine with this one
OK QUAMR. I GIVE UP. YOU SMARTER THAN COLE. I GIVE UP SCAM PEOPLE. PLEASE TAKE ALL POSTER I STOLEN FROM ADVENTURERS BEFORE.
*5 motivational posters (this guy is pretty generous for a scammer ;-) )
I TURN LIFE AROUND. I GET JOB AT ZYNGA. NO MORE SCAM PEOPLE!
*4 bath ball gift sets
DEAR QUAMPER. I GET FIRED FROM ZYNGA FOR ACCIDENTALLY THE WHOLE DATABASE. IT OK THOUGH. I GET NEW JOB WITH BLACKWATER AND NOW I HELP PEOPLE. WE DROP THESE FROM METAL BIRDS! I SHARE SOME WITH YOU.
*2 slow jam collections
QUAMPER. I ACCIDENTALY GOT JAM ON BOSSaS IMPORTANT PAPERS AND I GET VERY SCARED, BUT HE NOT MAD! HE SAID I WON TRIP TO CUBA BASE! HAVE GIFTS TO CELEBRATE MY GOOD FORTUNE! IaM SURE I TALK TO YOU S
*3 Dickory Farms Gift Baskets
QUAMPER! I ESCAPE! I WARE QUAMPER MASK AND WALK RIGHT PAST CAMRAS. NOW THEY LOOK FOR YOU AND NOT ME. EVERYBODY WIN! I COME LIVE WITH YOU NOW?
QUAMPER! TAKE THESE MUGS AS MY PARTING GIFT. IT NOW TOO DANGEROUS TO TALK TO YOU THROUH CRIMBCO. I SAVE EVERYTHING THOUGH AND START QUAMPERLEAKS.ORG. BE STRONG BROTHER.
Last edited by quamper on Wed Dec 29, 2010 5:54 pm, edited 3 times in total.

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Ceirdwyn
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Re: My Covert Crimbco Buddy is Trolling me

Post by Ceirdwyn » Fri Dec 17, 2010 12:49 pm

That is awesome! Thanks for sharing <3

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Suendenbock
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Re: My Covert Crimbco Buddy is Trolling me

Post by Suendenbock » Fri Dec 17, 2010 2:31 pm

I really laughed a lot at this one. I am not sure why but the whole " i accidentally" whatever is pretty amusing.

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Serra725
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Re: My Covert Crimbco Buddy is Trolling me

Post by Serra725 » Fri Dec 17, 2010 3:08 pm

What an insane genius!

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Re: My Covert Crimbco Buddy is Trolling me

Post by Roippi » Fri Dec 17, 2010 5:40 pm

Bahahahaha.

Kelemvor
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Re: My Covert Crimbco Buddy is Trolling me

Post by Kelemvor » Fri Dec 17, 2010 5:48 pm

That is amazing. I really hope your Agent gets revealed so that s/he can get proper recognition of his/her genius.

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Ringwraith
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Re: My Covert Crimbco Buddy is Trolling me

Post by Ringwraith » Fri Dec 17, 2010 7:50 pm

What a glorious read! Thanks for sharing :D

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Verdigris97
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Re: My Covert Crimbco Buddy is Trolling me

Post by Verdigris97 » Fri Dec 17, 2010 9:29 pm

That is brilliant.

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Re: My Covert Crimbco Buddy is Trolling me

Post by Omri » Sat Dec 18, 2010 12:54 am

This is amazing.

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Re: My Covert Crimbco Buddy is Trolling me

Post by Lespectre » Sat Dec 18, 2010 3:48 am

Haha, that's awesome.

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quamper
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Re: My Covert Crimbco Buddy is Trolling me

Post by quamper » Tue Dec 28, 2010 9:33 am

QUAMPER! I ESCAPE! I WARE QUAMPER MASK AND WALK RIGHT PAST CAMRAS. NOW THEY LOOK FOR YOU AND NOT ME. EVERYBODY WIN! I COME LIVE WITH YOU NOW?
I was worried about Cole! But I'm a little concerned that I'm wanted now :(

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quamper
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Re: My Covert Crimbco Buddy is Trolling me

Post by quamper » Wed Dec 29, 2010 3:07 pm

QUAMPER! TAKE THESE MUGS AS MY PARTING GIFT. IT NOW TOO DANGEROUS TO TALK TO YOU THROUH CRIMBCO. I SAVE EVERYTHING THOUGH AND START QUAMPERLEAKS.ORG. BE STRONG BROTHER.
NO SERIOUSLY DO YOU SEE THE WEBSITE!?!

http://quamperleaks.org

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reverkiller
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Re: My Covert Crimbco Buddy is Trolling me

Post by reverkiller » Wed Dec 29, 2010 3:59 pm

Uh, I'm pretty sure all of my gift buddies ever lose based on that link.

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Eigenbasis
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Re: My Covert Crimbco Buddy is Trolling me

Post by Eigenbasis » Wed Dec 29, 2010 5:28 pm

quamper wrote:
QUAMPER! TAKE THESE MUGS AS MY PARTING GIFT. IT NOW TOO DANGEROUS TO TALK TO YOU THROUH CRIMBCO. I SAVE EVERYTHING THOUGH AND START QUAMPERLEAKS.ORG. BE STRONG BROTHER.
NO SERIOUSLY DO YOU SEE THE WEBSITE!?!

http://quamperleaks.org
Wow. Talk about going above and beyond the call of duty.
"Have you ever heard the expression, ‘When life gives you lemons, make lemonade, and then throw it in the face of the person who gave you the lemons until they give you the oranges you originally asked for?’"

Kelemvor
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Re: My Covert Crimbco Buddy is AWESOME!

Post by Kelemvor » Sat Jan 01, 2011 6:54 pm

I demand to know who Quamper's buddy is.

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Verdigris97
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Re: My Covert Crimbco Buddy is AWESOME!

Post by Verdigris97 » Sat Jan 01, 2011 8:02 pm

I still laugh (hard) when I go back and read that. Pure genius.

Characters: A+. Plot Development: A+. Scammosity: A+.

Would read again (and will).

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transplanted_entwife
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Re: My Covert Crimbco Buddy is AWESOME!

Post by transplanted_entwife » Sat Jan 01, 2011 9:33 pm

I have my suspicions regarding Quamper's CCB identity. <_<

Regardless of who it is... this is brilliant, indeed. Thanks for sharing!
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